The York Press newspaper has recently reported the case of a young man of 20 years old. He has been imprisoned for 16 months, because he has a shoe fetish and grabbed a high-heeled shoe from a woman, while she was wearing it. He had done this before.
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10266699.Stiletto_shoe_fetish_man_jailed/
While I acknowledge that the incidents could be frightening for a woman, the fetish could also be something slightly amusing in its weirdness.
I despaired. Sixteen months in jail. Exactly how is that going to stop this young man's behaviour? He is a poorly educated man of 20, with a younger emotional age. It's a fetish. A craving. An obsession. An addiction.
In one of the reports I read, the authorities spoke of not being able to find out exactly why it was happening.
I thought of another case a few years ago in 2007. Not disimilar. A man with a fetish, uncontrollable behaviour and frightening people in his search for satisfaction.
I wrote a letter to the York paper and it was made the lead letter. I've found the letter in a file and instead of writing something similar again. I'm going to reprint my original letter to explain my thoughts.
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Sir
The Press writes about Norman Hutchins, “once again”, as he is jailed for three years. (Sept 4th 2007)
I am not excusing Mr Hutchin’s behaviour, but maybe there is a reason, which it doesn’t take a genius to work out. The judge is wrong, it can be changed.
Mr Hutchins is on a desperate search for something. He keeps looking but doesn’t find it. In his case it would appear to be some sort of comfort, security and attention. I would guess that at some point in his upbringing, these vital childhood needs were met with something connected with health, doctors, hospitals or similar. As an adult he, like all of us, still needs comfort, security and attention. But as an adult, he hasn’t been able to get these needs met in a healthy way, only and ironically, in an unhealthy way. Emotionally he’s a frightened child.
There are many prisoners who are only back in prison because they have many of their needs met in prison and not in the outside world. eg: Friendship, community, boundaries and security.
If we look at the Strensall* gangs, it’s all about getting needs met, but in an anti-social way. Attention, fun, security, friendship, status, sense of community, sense of achievement, feeling valued, meaning and purpose. Until these children’s needs are met in a healthy way, the gangs will thrive and some of them too will end up in prison.
I expect there will be many readers who may dismiss my words, but I wonder how many readers are this very day seeking feelings of comfort, security and attention in their behaviours. They will be drinking and eating unhealthily, because they are searching for a feeling of comfort. They are spending money on gambling and on goods that they can’t afford, but it’s giving them a meaning and purpose. They will seeking sex filled thrills to feel loved and valued. They will be working to a point of exhaustion, not because of needing the money, but because they are searching for a feeling of being good enough. Maybe they do need the money to pay for goods that really they only want, but don’t actually need, but these goods provide them with a feeling of status amongst their peers. Are we so different from Mr Hutchins?
A fetish sounds seedy, but grabs headlines. Mr Hutchins has an addiction, because he is craving a feeling he once had and is trying to find again. He won’t ever find it though, because it belongs in the past. He is not alone as he chases rainbows. There is no pot of gold.
Yours Sincerely
Rita Leaman
*A suburb of York
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In 2013 my opinion hasn't changed.
©RitaLeaman2013
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